[Professor Reneau] said that the idea of an addiction, as used in the Manuscript, explains why power struggles arise in romantic relationships. We’ve always wondered what causes the bliss and euphoria of love to end, to suddenly turn into conflict, and now we know. It is a result of the flow of energy between the individuals involved.

When love first happens, the two individuals are giving each other energy unconsciously and both people feel buoyant and elated. That’s the incredible high we all call being “in love.” Unfortunately, once they expect this feeling to come from the other person, they cut themselves off from the energy in the universe and begin to rely even more on the energy from each other–only now there doesn’t seem to be enough and so they stop giving each other energy and fall back into their dramas in an attempt to control each other and force the other’s energy their way. At this point the relationship degenerates into the usual power struggle.

“The reason we can become addicted to someone of the opposite sex is that we’ve yet to access this opposite sex energy ourselves. You see, the mystical energy that we can tap as an inner source is both male and female. We can eventually open up to it, but when we first begin to evolve, we have to be careful. The integration process takes some time. If we connect prematurely with a human source for our female or male energy, we block the universal supply.”

“So how do we avoid these encounters?” I asked.

“By resisting the ‘love at first sight’ feeling for a while, by learning to have platonic relationships with members of the opposite sex. But remember the process. You must have these relationships only with people who will reveal themselves totally, telling you how and why they are doing what they are doing. By understanding who these opposite-sexed friends really are on the inside, one breaks past one’s own fantasy projection about that gender, and that releases us to connect again with the universe.

“Remember also,” she continued, “that this is not easy, especially if one has to break way from a current co-dependent relationship. It is a real pulling apart of energy. It hurts. But it must be done. Co-dependence is not some new malady some of us have. We’re all co-dependent, and we’re all growing out of it now.

“The idea is to begin to experience that sense of well-being and euphoria experienced in the first moment of a co-dependent relationship when you are all one. You get to have him or her on the inside. After that, you evolve forward and can find that special romantic relationship that really fits.”

. . .

It is the same way with all addictions–one goes through someone or something else to connect with the universe. The way to deal with this is to get your energy up and then center yourself again in what you are really doing here.”

. . .

What does the Manuscript say about all this, exactly?

“It says that whenever people cross our paths, there is always a message for us. Chance encounters do not exist. But how we respond to these encounters determines whether we’re able to receive the message. If we have a conversation with someone who crosses our path and we do not see a message pertaining to our current questions, it does not mean there was no message. It only mean we missed it for some reason.