Signed in Blood.

Guilty?

Guiltier than I had known, far guiltier than I had thought–guilty of the evil of damning as guilt that which was my best.

I damned the fact that my mind and body were a unit, and that my body responded to the values of my mind.

I damned the fact that joy is the core of existence, the motive power of every loving being, that it is the need of one’s body as it is the goal of one’s spirit, that my body was not a weight of inanimate muscles, but an instrument able to give me an experience of superlative joy to unite my flesh and my spirit.

That capacity, which I damned as shameful, had left me indifferent to sluts, but gave me my one desire in answer to a woman’s greatness.

That desire, which I damned as obscene, did not come from the sight of her body, but from the knowledge that the lovely form I saw, did express the spirit I was seeing–it was not her body that I wanted, but her person.

To you, my sweet.

Quotes (December ’15)

“Being spiritual has nothing to do with what you believe and everything to
do with your state of consciousness.”
– Eckhart Tolle

T. Harv Eker:

“In every forest, on every farm, in every orchard on
earth, what’s under the ground creates what’s above the ground. That’s
why placing your attention on the fruits you have already grown is futile.
You can’t change the fruits that are already hanging on the tree. But you
can change tomorrow’s fruits. To do so, you will have to dig below the
ground and strengthen the roots.”

“The secret of being a bore is to tell
everything,” said French writer Voltaire.

“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you
select your clothes every day. That’s a power you can cultivate. If you
want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the
only thing you should be trying to control.”

— Elizabeth Gilbert

“The whole point of Jesus’s life was not that we should become exactly
like him, but that we should become ourselves in the same way he
became himself. Jesus was not the great exception but the great
example.”

– Carl Jung

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Grateful Anger

“Remember, there is a difference between grateful anger and
dehumanizing hatred,” he shouted above the din.

“What do you mean?” I yelled back.

“Grateful anger is good darkness. Dehumanizing hatred is bad darkness.”

“More clues, please.”

“Grateful anger flows when you have engaged and studied your shadow.
Dehumanizing hatred flows when you have ignored and denied your
shadow. One is fertile, the other hysterical.”

A mathematical formula: I liked that. I assumed he meant the shadow that
Carl Jung described. The unripe and unillumined corners of the soul.

He continued: “Grateful anger is when you feel thankful for the irritating
people and sickening situations that have spurred you to clarity and
righteous action. Dehumanizing hatred is when you are so in love with
your terrible emotion that you forget what needs to be changed and turn
yourself into your enemy.”

– Rob Breszny, “The Televisionary Oracle”

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Ashtanga Yoga Log (October ’15)

September Review:

Meet the “likely scenario” goal. Surya Namaskara A & B, Standing through Parivrrta Trikonasana, and all of Finishing Sequence.

October Goals:

5.5 day a week consistency, with no lapses. Through all of Standing and all of Finishing.

Saturday, October 3:

Surya Namaskara A & B, 5x

Standing Sequence:

Padagusthasana, Padahastasana

Utthita Trikonasana, Parivrtta Trikonasana

Finishing Sequence:

Urdhva Dhanurasana, x2

Paschimottanasana B (8 breaths)

Sarvangasana (10 breaths)

Hasalasana, Karnapidasana, Urdhva Padmasana, Pindasana

Matsyasana, Uttana Padasana

Sirsasana A (10 breaths), Sirsasana B

Baddha Padmasana, Padmasana, Tolasana (8 breaths)

Savasana

Friday, October 2:

Spontaneous off day.

Thursday, October 1:

Surya Namaskara A & B, 5x

Standing Sequence:

Padagusthasana, Padahastasana

Utthita Trikonasana, Parivrtta Trikonasana

Finishing Sequence:

Urdhva Dhanurasana, x2

Paschimottanasana B (8 breaths)

Sarvangasana (10 breaths)

Hasalasana, Karnapidasana, Urdhva Padmasana, Pindasana

Matsyasana, Uttana Padasana

Sirsasana A (10 breaths), Sirsasana B

Baddha Padmasana, Padmasana, Tolasana (8 breaths)

Savasana

8:30 AM.

Was mentally fatigued. Physically I was fine. Nice and sweaty — so sweaty that the last two repetitions of Surya Namaskara B were awkward.

Physically I need more of a challenge. Soon. Four new standing next week. Still going slowly. Slow and steady!

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